If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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