Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
