But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My brain says no but my pants say off.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
