then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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