so explain again why im purple
no
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
