Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize
