your room smells of hookers.
And success
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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