Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
