An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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