Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
