id be glad to
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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