Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize