so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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