Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
