i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
