4 words: hood of his car
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
