Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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