you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
