I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You've changed since you got that strap on
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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