i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The beers last night were like the tears from god
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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