I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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