so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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