I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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