i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
