just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she peed on how many people?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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