In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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