Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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