Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i now understand why vodka
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
