My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
