I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
