Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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