Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize