Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
