I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Randomize
