i'm signing you up for texting rehab
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
