apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
