we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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