sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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