I love black thongs
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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