just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
