i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
