I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize