I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
