he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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