Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
