you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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