So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
