gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
