Umm I'm too high to move.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
