I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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