I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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