Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
These tits shall not be calmed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
