Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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