i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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