is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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