She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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