i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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