Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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