I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
