lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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