You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
