Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
